Naps

Seattle was a sunny exception to the snowy rule that seems to be our nations weather today. We vowed not to waste a moment of it, picked up Grandma and headed to west Seattle and Lincoln Park. Vitamin D rained down and we turned our faces towards the sun to drink it in.

If you don't have kids, then the story ends here. Maybe a leisurely walk takes place, lunch with a fork and a knife, casual glances towards your watch. That would it, if I remember correctly. I have kids though. Three of them. Each one being the center of their own Universe. Time comes to leave the park, and my son digresses into a paraplegic, whiny mass of jello on the trail back to the car. I expend a staggering amount of energy cajoling, explaining and repeating myself and trying to creatively trick my kids into getting into cars/tubs/beds. We all become dragons and finally get into the car. I can feel the red line of my patience dipping into the E zone but we still have to get everyone home, up the three flights of stairs, lunched and into bed before I can call it quits. Dig Deep

One stop for promised hot cocoa
Sun roof down and I can feel my nose gathering freckles.

Grandma is returned safe and sound and we sprint towards the finish line. I am reminded several times per minute that I am hungry and I have to remember not to clench my jaw. I carry a damp Nina and bags and trash and wallets and keys up the stairs and wait with the gate open while my son seems to muster the energy to scream that he is too tired to walk up the stairs.

Front Door unlocked, pile up at the shoe rack and everyone hauls the day up the stairs. The house looks like we evacuated in hot pursuit of a foreign invader. Cabinets are open, piles of laundry in the kitchen and piles of semi clean clothes in the bedrooms, remnants of breakfast crowd out remnants of dinner. First things first; Diaper. Thankfully, Nina loves being naked and getting her diaper changed, so I am richly rewarded for helping her out.

I approach the kitchen with lunch as my next objective only to find my oldest hastily setting a freshly open can of soda on the counter. Condensation trailing down the sides of the can and its contents still moving. Did you just open that? No, she says. Crap. She just lied to me. Looked me in the eyes and lied. Did you lie? No. Deep breath. Deep Breath with Eyes Closed. I really want to make lunch and not discipline my child. But she just lied to my face and she knows the rules and I can't over look this. A short conversation is followed by a spanking and I feel the last thin wire of existing nerve break.

Bread
Peanut Butter
Jam
Bread
Sliced
Lunch is served.

Elijah waits patiently with his curly straw and Clementine emerges after a few minutes of collecting herself. Now, take your finger, scrape it down a chalk board and say I want a curly straw too repeatedly for about 30 seconds. Deep Breath. Deep Breath with Eyes Closed.

Cup
Water
Curly Straw
Served with enthusiasm

Well, a little too much enthusiasm. Some water splashed over the lip of the cup and maybe got on someones sandwich. Ms. C's eyes well up with tears at the injustice of her damp sandwich and the furrow between my eyebrows dares her to pitch a fit. My petulant daughter has given me whiplash with her emotional roller coaster today and I am beyond the point of ignoring it. I suck on my spoonful of peanut butter and vow to eat more food sitting down.

Has everyone gone to the bath room?
Yes
Yes

Into bed. Covered up. Silence

I have to go to the bathroom!
Me Too!
Thump, Thump, Thump
Flush
Flush
Mom will you cover me like a burrito?
Make me into a quesadilla!

Nina and I lay down in the big bed for nap/lunch (mine and hers respectively) I hear wails of anguish as Monkey can not be found. What to do. If I yell from where I am, I will wake Nina. And frankly, nothing I have to say at this point would be what I want my kids to remember as they drift off to sleep. My lips form a firm, straight barrier against the tirade growing in my throat. I delatch Nina and she waves her impotent limbs in protest like an over turned turtle.

Slam (their door)
Slam, Lock (my door)
Ear plug 1
Ear Plug 2
Gather Nina

My new book still lies next to my pillow, unopened. I knew that the skill of the author would be lost on me at this point, so I chose sleep. Nina silently sucked her binky next to me, our eyes growing heavy in unison.

The house is silent. I have confessed my sins. I think I will have a fudge pop and do some laundry.