I have been mulling over this post for many days, and each minute of pondering carries me deeper into the waters of my relationship with Clementine. I have been thick in the task of parenting her for 2 1/2 years and I forget to pause and reflect. Reflect on the growth and fruit that I have seen in my relationship with my big girl. The passage from Corinthians so beautifully sums up our family's common success as Clementine continues to rise up.
Clementine is my eldest, she made me a mother, I labored to bring her to my home and I love her. My relationship with her is hard, but good hard. I am loving her to a place where she can relax and be free and trust. But it is hard work. Or at least is has been hard work. It is getting easier and she is shockingly resilient. I have made mistakes and broken her trust. And yet she so wants a mother to love, she forgives me. She forgives me, the stranger.
Trust me. I love you, child
Trust me, I love you.
Trust me.
Trust.
Trust......
She is strong and I have often viewed her strength as my enemy but her strength is my greatest ally. The things that make her difficult to parent are the exact same things that have insured her survival mentally and emotionally. My worry for her does not wallpaper my mind like it did. I know that she will have her struggles but I exhale my doubts like warm breath. Her grief, the loss she has yet to comprehend, will come in waves. And we will all share in her pain. Tethered together, we will rise and fall as one body.
I can tell you, will full heart, that I know my child. I know her like no other woman does. This intimacy has come at a great cost, but what intimacy doesn't. The seed of her in my heart, brought me to my knees. The task of bringing her home, brought me to my knees. It shouldn't surprise me that parenting her has brought me to my knees again. And God has provided.
(The First and Second part of Clementine's story)
I can tell you, will full heart, that I know my child. I know her like no other woman does. This intimacy has come at a great cost, but what intimacy doesn't. The seed of her in my heart, brought me to my knees. The task of bringing her home, brought me to my knees. It shouldn't surprise me that parenting her has brought me to my knees again. And God has provided.
(The First and Second part of Clementine's story)
So glad to hear you're experiencing the fruit of your hard work. Well done. When I think about what you guys have done--the adoption process, the waiting for years and years, and now the blending together--I routinely think you're way out of my league. Keep it up. We're cheering for you even from way over here.
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